YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WHY HUSBANDS DON’T HAVE ORGASM: TYPES OF “SEXUAL” HUSBAND

May 18th, 2009 by admin

Based on my interviews with the thousand men, their wives, and thousands of other interviews by myself and my staff, I offer twelve types of sexual husband. Remember, we all have elements of all these types, because they are not types at all but really behaviors, ways of being sexual sometimes. There is no need for more labels in the field of sexuality, so place the emphasis on the “fun” of these categories.

1. The Helper

Nobody gives her what I give her. I make her a princess.

HUSBAND

This is the husband who feels that he must assist his wife to sexual fulfillment. His daily activities, gifts he provides, things he does for his wife, and his behavior in bed are “help” rather than “share”-oriented. This husband attempts to live up to his perceptions of his wife’s expectations, which perceptions, by the way, are usually not accurate.

2. The Hounder

If I keep it on her mind, focused, bring it to her attention, we will have sex. I have to keep the ball rolling.

HUSBAND

This is a husband who oversexualizes everything. He comments about sex on television, in books, in the newspaper, purchases every source of erotica he can find. He has an extensive collection of pornography and may bring home X-rated videotapes or films to “turn her on.” There may be a secret pornography collection that the wife knows little about. Wives might want to look in the tool area of the basement under the wrenches. They may be surprised at what they find.

3. The Heel

She’s not passionate. She tries, but she is of the fifties and I am of the eighties. That’s why I have to have a little modern sex on the side.

HUSBAND

This is a male who criticizes his wife sexually, while at the same time seeking his sexual fulfillment outside his marriage. He may defend his extramarital sex by blaming the wife for failing him sexually, when actually he has neglected the intimate dimension of his marriage for some time. Men and women who look outside the marriage have usually not looked long or deep enough inside the marriage or themselves.

4. The Hermit

I just don’t think much about it. I run every day in the morning and sometimes at night. I am in training for the marathon. Sex isn’t everything. We’re partners. She doesn’t mind. She keeps me in carbohydrates and Coke. You know how running is. It takes your full attention.

HUSBAND

This husband has withdrawn from sex with his wife completely. While the wife may blame herself for this, actually the husband has neglected intimacy in the marriage and may be having an affair, not with another woman but with work, golf, or the television. Sex is very low on this man’s priority list, and so is the marriage. The wife may feel that she is just living in the same house with this man, not sharing a life with him.

5. The Hero

I give her anything she wants. I really set her up. She wants for nothing. I kill all bugs, paint all ceilings, and am able to leap all of her problems in a single bound.

HUSBAND

p. Scott Fitzgerald once stated, “Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy.” This is the man who seeks to establish sexual IOUs by contributing a house, child care, money, status, a car, or anything else he feels will earn him his sexual due.

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